I believe in dragonflies!

Sometime in mid-April, I had a dream about a dragonfly. I hadn't had many dreams that stuck with me in recent weeks but for some reason, this dream made an impact on me. I couldn't stop thinking about it so I looked up the meaning. I learned that a dragonfly, as it appeared in my dream, signifies major changes in your life & transformations in your life which will be for the better. I didn't know it at the time, but I was newly pregnant. This is where the nickname for my baby stems from (also the reasoning behind the name of this blog):  dragonfly. Since then, dragonflies appear in my life somehow, almost daily...four of them even started flying around my yard two days ago & returned the following evening.
It was Saturday May 7, 2011 that I found out about my pregnancy. Even though I expected the test would be positive, I was still shocked. 

                                                            My first home pregnancy test.


It was unexpected but definitely not unwanted. I have always wanted to be a mama & now that dream would come true! I immediately changed the way that I was living my life. I started making plans, vowing to be more responsible of a person & quit smoking. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor shortly after & found out that they couldn't get me in until the 2nd of June. I calculated that I would be about 8 weeks preggers by then & read that it was an ideal time to be seen. So, I proceeded to get things ready for the appointment. I came up with questions for the doctor, read what to expect at the first appointment & got approved for Medicaid insurance (government assistance). I took pictures of my belly & started learning everything I could about pregnancy & babies (there's still so much to learn!). 
Finally, I was able to see my doctor. My sister, Alie, went with me & we both got to see the little bean-shaped baby with it's little fluttering heartbeat. We even got to hear it's heart! It was the most beautiful & joyous thing I've ever experienced at this point in my life:)
Unfortunately (or fortunately), my doctor made me feel a little uncomfortable & other things came about in my life that reminded me of my childhood desire to one day have my baby in my own home. I started researching midwifery and dabbling with the idea. I got some discouraging comments from multiple people about the task, which led to it taking a little longer than it should have. Plus, I had to figure out some finances because Medicaid does not cover home births or midwife services...in fact, most insurance companies don't even know much about midwifery, let alone support it. 
So, I pursued finding a midwife & last week I met the most wonderful woman I could imagine to help welcome my baby into this world. And now, here I am.. 14 weeks and one day pregnant, ready to start this journey of the most rewarding type of birth.
More than anything, I am just so happy to be able to have this baby. I tell my little dragonfly, everyday, "I love you."...I am growing a precious little person inside of me right now who is the most amazing gift I could ever ask for.
I am so excited that I get to be a mom & that I get to care for this little one even now, inside my belly.


love & dragonflies
                            ...sidnee love




                                                             here is Dragonfly by A-Ha.. 
                                                 it's like the perfect lullaby for my little baby:)